People ask me all the time why I have a problem with hippies. "But they're so peaceful and accepting." Bullshit. Have you ever met a new hippie? Do you see them have friends that aren't hippies? Elitism. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that they all take care of themselves so we, the general public, don't have to.
They're always telling you what to eat, how to dress, and they fucking stink. One time my friend who I watched transform into a hippie with my very own eyes told me that my bangs were in fact blocking my chi from asserting my power as a woman, and that this was proven because it was started by Genghis Khan. And don't even get me started on patchouli.
I'll wear my hair how I want, I don't feel like growing my own vegetables, I like Oprah better than okra and I would never use Dr. Bronner's for even one of it's 1001 uses. If you live where I live you'd find them barefoot at the river, constantly rolling around in dirt, then water, then dirt again to which I have nothing more to say than "FUCKING HIPPIES..."
Thanks to my pal Katherine for sending me this photo of a sign that's posted somewhere I'd like to live.
Submit your hippie picture at fckinghippies@gmail.com
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