Eeyore's Fucking Birthday

Every year in Austin there is a festival called Eeyore's birthday. It actually ENCOURAGES hippies to gather in drum circles, costumes and crust baths. It's fucking disgusting - which is why I didn't go. Big ups to my gloriously unpaid intern, Bonnie Beaver, for enduring this "festival" and taking this awful video footage. Love you, beavs. Also, congratulations to me for posting my first video to youtube. Prime cinema!

Hail Seitan!

A couple of mouth breathers wrote a song that I can get behind.

UGh.

"Dad. I told you to stop giving head to THAT LEPRECHAUN
LINDSAY LOHAN
DENNIS RODMAN me....please."

REPORT-A-HIPPIE

Is there a fucking hippie in your neighborhood? Or God forbid a drum circle? Take a picture, video or seismic reading feel free to send in your hippie submissions to fckinghippies@gmail.com

Send us anything except things relating to jobs, being a productive member of society, having good hair, etc.

If you're too lazy/retarded to type fckinghippies@gmail.com into your email program then click here.

ISIHALADUTB

ISIHALADUTB: I'm Sorry I Have A Life And Don't Update This Blog

Luckily for you two readers I have some very eager beavers (and a couple of proudly unpaid staff members) to do the field work for me while I'm getting drunk in different cities no where near people who aren't wearing shoes, so I've got some pretty ridiculous photos from festivals with names like Eeyore's Birthday (yes, the donkey) and Bonaroo. (I did, however, manage to take this very clear and award worthy photo below myself:)

I was planning on eating at Bughouse Cafe* until I saw this and just drowned myself in shitty frozen fruit sangria instead.

Kim Cattrall is probably not a hippie, but fuck her feet. Seriously.

*Not the actual name of the restaurant. But pretty close.

YKWTSAFFAA

"You Know What They Say About Flip Flops and Acid"

Most Wasted Guy at Coachella vs. Flip Flop - watch more funny videos

This guy was at Coachella, a lot more wasted than I think I've ever been (that's a lie.) But he's definitely in a different world (best show ever) and this should teach people to never, EVER wear nasty flip flops - ever.

SIWTV: Sometimes I Watch TV

I shouldn't even be admitting that I sometimes see the occasional American Idol episode. It comes on before Lost and my Lost buddy watches it before hand, and, and..whatever, I somehow manage to keep up by watching half an episode a week.

ANYWAY.

This fucking hippie. I swear, she really makes me feel conflicted about life and my beliefs.

I hate to say it, but she is the best sounding person on that show.

..I know...I know. She even sang Janis Joplin, it was typical and really gross but between that hispanic guy with those black glasses who thinks he's the jam, the lead singer of nickelback and that really poor version of Z.Efron she's really not going up against much is she?

But she has ugly teeth! Ha! Take that!...

....